30 Hula Hoops At Once


i want to murder this child with my laughter.

BEST.

this enables me to have sweetdreams at night.

you're outta my highchair, i'm outta your womb.

angelina jolie.

whoa solid babe. no? then you hate her right? wait, do you hate her because of her babe status, the dreamboat husband, the defined facial features, the hot bod, the perfect embodiment of a gaming character, her goodwill ambassador of the friggen universe status, the progressive good looks of someone that's pushing fourty which is generally destined for distinguished grey charming older gentlemen? or is it the fact that she's the most fertile woman in the world.

wait, let me guess. it's the fact that she looks good in a lime jello wig isn't it.

personally, i don't care. if angelina could just keep on pumping out children like the dumpy baby factory that she is, and actually just take up the alloted quota of babies born in the world ever... well fuck, slap me upside the head and call me a juggalo cause id high five her and her accomplice's super sperm.

so for all the sterile women in the world, not only is she the object of their envy because no one can adopt a baby quicker than ms jolie. she may possibly be able to adopt a child from across the world quicker than you can sneeze. that's baby acquiring at 100mph ! but no, she's not even sterile. shes actually the most fertile woman in the world. she's just delivered 2 natural births in july (making a regulation size NBA team) but mere months later, she's already got something up her sleeve, and by sleeve , i mean wizzard sleeve, which is actually up her uterus. GROSS.

angelina jolie is officially fetus-licious.

WHY IS THIS WACKY BITCH TREATING CHILDREN LIKE POKEMON.

no news is good news.

so , i've always been a longstanding hater of the news in general.

but today especially because while in limbo pre-movie post-work, i had picked up a copy of the Toronto Sun while killing time in starbucks .

for yous that don't know of the old-enough-to-know-better child, who got his x-box taken away on thanksgiving due to playing too much Call of Duty and has recently been found dead in the woods by deer hunters story, theres the jist of it. okay, i don't mean to sound like more of an excessive douchebag than normal, but when your son is found after such a rediculous series of events, you are not allowed be quoted as saying "THERE IS NO GOD" and "WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO MY BEAUTIFUL SON". do you even remember how mad you were at your idiotic beautiful son on the night you took away his video games? you caused this with normal parenting, and because of your sons poor judgement skills, and being incapable of coping with normal situations, and just plain ol' fucked up. i don't know. its just a shaken popbottle's worth of anger thats been brewing in my mind the past 6 hrs.

Hmmm. i mean, sure, anything that ends in death... usually not good. it's a given that obviously it does suck that after such a rediculous series of events, a month later your child his body is dead of still unconfirmed events. i dont care. your son fucked up, and the consequence was death. god evened out the herd by making your weaker link obsolete. 0wned.

followed up by this was a small column, saying how they were going to rid the city of basketball hoops because basketball courts are essentially breeding grounds for drug dealers. people were quoted as "they dont even play basketball" and "they bring their stereo and play loud music and deal drugs at night". naturally as you can see the root of all evil is the basketball hoops themselves. i mean, brainstorming from that train of though on it's own, why don't we just rid ourselves of visible ethnic minorities, or weeds. because what all drug activity has in common, that on the basketball court pavement on which they stand, all the cracks, all have weeds. weeds are the base of drug activity. weeds are a gateway plant.

weeds are a gateway plant.