nicole scherzinger;

no one knows your last name.

you may as well be known as "tits n' thangs" .

nicole scherzinger;

sometimes you look like you've crawled out of hollywoods glitziest dumpster,


sometimes you look like you've barely escaped micheal jacksons vinyl fingertips


but inexplicably most of the time i still wanna do a bollywood jig all the way up your sausage wallet.

it turns my stomach that jeffree star is still lurking around milking internet fame since myspace. nearly 16g twitter friends? that's nauseating.

i frequently pine over having long hair once again these days.

this is fucking ridiculous though.

sigh, my birthday's coming up which brings a certain dread and a certain excitement. it's the more i think about the excitement in which the dread sneaks in right after.

25. what a dumpy number. i should be having some sort of quarter century eye-opening revelation or some frantic crisis but here i am rekindling my flame with the internet instead in my underwear on my bedroom floor.

i don't have any vices i need to abandon, i don't have any ties i need to break.
i just googled 25th birthdays, and at least i don't look like this i guess;


i think i might devote this blog entirely to amy winehouse. i mean. WOW. i haven't been keeping up, but WOWWWWWWW



if you've got it, flaunt it.

whats worse than one lindsay lohan?

two gothic lindsay lohans with frostbite shimmer coloured legs.

dpstravaganza.

agness deyn.

OUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAL SEW QUTES.
biggest love hate relationship of the moment. very cute, very chic, moonlights as very hipster when pushing the vintage derelict hobo look too much. bad agness, naughty agness.
she's actually gorgeous for the entire jean paul gaulthier MADAME campaign, but other than that i feel that everyone is gush gush gushing too much over her quirky unique stylings which are really a typical 16+ fashion sense, and never-may-care attitude. maybe im just bitter, unappreciated, a brunette, and poor.





you cannot wear a mesh drape with strategically placed warhol patterns to cover your unmentionables. because i will mention them.


boy bodied granny wasted cute shark print buttoned fly high waisty camel short. reminds me of that blondo in lords of dogtown.


granted, on a runway obviously, so she cant be blammed for her pirate-chic glam.


modern day super model? up and coming kate moss? the newest twiggy?

or a soon to be deadbeat pride attender singing female masturbation songs while pushing 60. same difference no?

her being dressed in a patented-shoulder-padded-barbie-pink blazer reminds me of that special time in a young girls life where she decides that barbie needs a new hairdo. anyone with barbies however soon realises but never really gives up on changing barbie from her intended theme. tried to change barbies hair? never worked. whether combed, nor cut, barbie is one stubborn cunt, and no matter how many artifacts you piece together from various barbies, the new mashed up look never looks good, and never compliments your barbies newly dyked 'do. please purchase whole new outfit with non fitting shoes for 19.99. thanks mattel.


we get it , you're quirky. WHAT AN INDIVIDUAL. the red really brings out, your complete utter lack of pigment.

this doesn't even look that great

honestly
this only proves that once a babe, a babe in anything. from hot couture, to hipster trends, or your grannie's panties stretched into a doily dress. WHY NOT
looks like a dickie is trying to kill you agness, watch your back.


"oh gosh im so shocked you got me in my rushian babushka doll traditional african warrior chainmail casual seawear outfit...do you think the hat is too much? does it clash with my betty page face? no? the orange bedazzling wasnt too much? good. maybe i'll wear more neon doilies next time."



hold on there hotty hotty hot pants, theres enough teal spandex here to house an african tribe.


people rave about her bringing back a punky edge to fashion, cute is cute is cute. she could chose any identity and work it. what about this beach bum tan, sew cute. i don't think they sell up teh punx for 400minutes at 60$

i could dress her flippant do and fresh face up in a bag of flaming turds and people would still squeal what a fashion forward muse she is.

dukes up.

zooey deschanel vs. katy perry.


cutest sock 'em bop 'em match ever.

edit:
justincopp@justincopp.com: i for one would welcome a zooey deschanel vs katy perry pillowfight which would lead to accidentally making out as i've been led to believe such things always wind up going
rockstarjamboree: i would eat pussy for the first time.

xmas schmexmas.

so in the spirit of christmas, here i am on christmas eve trying to de-irritate myself - so i decide to have a bath. this is shortly ruined by the sound of a woman through my closed windows, about a couple houses down the street greeting each of her guests as they arrive, by yelling festive things...which isn't out of the ordinary , or really in my favour to hate on except for one thing;

she sounds like fran drescher.

yes, even fran drescher has a biography. how do i know? because my mother owns it. my petite sour asian mother who hates most-if-not-all owns fran drescher's biography. of course my mother is the only person who owns this, why wouldn't she?!


i mean, maybe even my mother mistook her for a half Real Doll half Asian cross breed.

who am i to bitch and moan,
with such a long list of credentials, it's a wonder anyone hates her at all. she's also done an Adobe PDF eBook called Cancer Schmancer, and because of such, is toying with running for Congress apparently. i dont think someone entirely composed of poufy hair and an erratic nasal machine gun laugh can do such a thing, but hell, they put a cat in space, what do i know.

thanks france.

you're outta my highchair, i'm outta your womb.

angelina jolie.

whoa solid babe. no? then you hate her right? wait, do you hate her because of her babe status, the dreamboat husband, the defined facial features, the hot bod, the perfect embodiment of a gaming character, her goodwill ambassador of the friggen universe status, the progressive good looks of someone that's pushing fourty which is generally destined for distinguished grey charming older gentlemen? or is it the fact that she's the most fertile woman in the world.

wait, let me guess. it's the fact that she looks good in a lime jello wig isn't it.

personally, i don't care. if angelina could just keep on pumping out children like the dumpy baby factory that she is, and actually just take up the alloted quota of babies born in the world ever... well fuck, slap me upside the head and call me a juggalo cause id high five her and her accomplice's super sperm.

so for all the sterile women in the world, not only is she the object of their envy because no one can adopt a baby quicker than ms jolie. she may possibly be able to adopt a child from across the world quicker than you can sneeze. that's baby acquiring at 100mph ! but no, she's not even sterile. shes actually the most fertile woman in the world. she's just delivered 2 natural births in july (making a regulation size NBA team) but mere months later, she's already got something up her sleeve, and by sleeve , i mean wizzard sleeve, which is actually up her uterus. GROSS.

angelina jolie is officially fetus-licious.

WHY IS THIS WACKY BITCH TREATING CHILDREN LIKE POKEMON.