this will be me soon, and then i'll have the last laugh.

i'll buy the last laugh.
or just remove your vocal chords.

jokes on me though 'cause those glasses will match no outfit of mine.

sure, working two jobs again has it's downsides. but right now, as much as my feet hurt at the end of double-jobbed 17hr day, i can't think of them and all i have is happy-puppy-first-day-of-christmas anxiety for the day to arrive to get my sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet second paycheck.

now don't think of me as money hungry, i just have made such serious bffs with debt, that i need a lil extra cash digging me outta that hole/affording life as i dig my way out.

i've already prepared a shopping list on my phone in anticipation; all new makeup since my time in the morning i spend getting ready is doubled due to the process of vicegripping out the last fragments out of tubes and bottles, groceries, winter boots, work clothes.

it sucks because all of the frivolous purchases i can't wait to splurge on are necessities.

my list should really be composed of;
fig a.

sluts !

fig b.

more sluts !

fig c.

icy !

fig d.

icy whip !

fig e.

sluts (trannies) on cars !

fig f.

a harem ! (specifically imported from egypt circa any time b.c.) (preferably with carpetted undies and a nondescript gender defying stare)(and seriously, no more than one waterjug)

fig g.

a time machine to fetch my harem ! (preferably a a beamer, encrusted in icy)

fig h.

icy furniture ! (ikea really needs to get in on this one)

fig i.

and a dog made of money !

okay, let's not kid ourselves here, i could google search stuff all day. it's probably better off that i don't win the lottery or actually get my hands on mass quantities of money. i think the world is a safer place without large sums of money in my hands. i would probably run into work spitting on people. not that i even dislike my coworkers, just cause i flatout could. if i had the equilibrium to do so, i would do so on a unicycle. despite my prior rant about unicycles technically would classify me as a carnie, i double dog dare you to get close enough to challenge me.
bring tissues if you plan to do so.