no points for cuteness.

it's that time again, where i scour the most angering things at the latest time possible to compile a blog to keep me raged until next time.


welp, there goes my passionately heated love of chicken pot pies.

HAH, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER YOU FOOLS.

plush crocheted rock candy?

i don't understand the thrill of knitting food-lookalikes.

okay, so i digress, neither felt nor knit,

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THIS LITTLE EGG TEEPEE COZY

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

an aqua yarmulke, how efficient. is yarn kosher? from a lamb? scoff, you gonna eat a pig in that hat?


and you even bother wondering why i can't sleep at night?


why keep your drink cool and refreshing , when you can keep it fuzzy and stupid.


sure, let your children play with furry finger condoms, don't come crying to me when you can't afford the therapy bills and ponder on your own where you went wrong.


when laundry disappears in your dryer, it accumulates till it can pull off a full frontal assault on your furniture.


made to scale with proportions of inventor.


this is also not cute. adding googly eyes is not a quirky craft idea. its stupid. your tape sees you, AWESOME. which part of it's body are you tearing off and sticking to something else? your Brita has eyes? and you're pouring out a glass full of cummy nyum nom goodness? yeah, get back to me when the first thing you see in the morning when flipping on the light switch is it looking back at you. a turned on light switch, how delectably FUCKING WEIRD.


FUCKED. UP.


biggest waste of time ever. imagine the trial and error that went into this mess. don't you have a war to fight in needlemaster5000.


i may be plotting to shove this in which ever entrance to hell it snuck out of, or the smallest driest orifice of whomever had made it.

a fuzzy computer cover??

looks like you're diddling a fembot on the set of Austin Powers.


only burger in history of burgers that i don't like.


only cupcake in history i will not try to devour exclusively in one bite.


only ice cream cone in history i will devote solely to cramming up someones nasal cavity.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

this is kinda like seeing a perfectly fine dog , dressed up in an outfit someone who can barely dress themselves chose.


i have a dream where everything is hazy, and i'm smothered on my deathbed by an arch nemesis by this.


why wait this long to scare someone away?


just when i thought i had defined scary, here comes a knitted viking child.
this is officially my suicide note.