epileptic? anaphylaxis.

fact, Demetri Martin has a new show on the Comedy Network. consensus? irrelevant.

fact, he has a peanut allergy. consensus? so do i.

fact, "I think it’s interesting that ‘cologne’ rhymes with ‘alone.’" consensus? good point.

fact, "The best way to make someone sound less powerful is to add "DJ" to the beginning of their name. Example; DJ Abraham Lincoln. consensus? welcome to my blog.

along with the warmer weather it brings the revival of the trees, the animals, the animals genitals, the recovery of my knee, and a brigade of useless djs.

i mean, cool. everyone is a dj right? as plagiarized from Mark Vidler, from Go Home Productions, he summarized the benefits of such technology as Acidpro as; "You don't need a distributor, because your distribution is the internet. You don't need a record label, because it's your bedroom, and you don't need a recording studio, because that's your computer. You do it all yourself."

you don't shit in your pillowcase, you don't administer lonesome handjobs at the kitchen table, you don't do handstands on the toilet, or maybe you do, and then bring your laptop to the bar afterwards to pwump the jams.

usually i would continue to rip a new fuckhole for this fine breed, but instead i question; how hard could it be.

most of anyone has known that i've spent far too much time on the internet in my life, so why not diddle around in some programs which are a little less techno-industrial-loserfied than fruity loops - which has ironically changed it's name to FL studios. i too can carry a laptop, double click a mouse, press a couple hotkeys, and drag and drop a couple of settings.

dj jenjen, dj gillenator, dj double mant twaaaanz, dj usa, one vicious part of a tag team with dj hatermolen.

i'm not flappin my gums as per a certain kanye west, i'm just sayin it's bullshit and gonna give it a try. cause fuck me sideways, if i wanna bounce my booty to some reggaetron sean paul yellin out temperature, i'm gonna do it faded into amerie with the faint beat of pip paine pulsating through both pairs of my lips.