the other day overtop black leggings or longsocks, my boss was wearing a deep royal purple capri length, flared wideleg, highwasted pant with a short cut, atrocity of a blazer-top-thing, volumptuous-fatty-garment.
in plain english for all you men,
she looked like grimace.
i work beneath a woman who is paid a notably larger salary than mine, who chooses to dress herself in a grimace-like manner.
baffling really. i personally would like to look like a russian babushka doll, but what does that matter, because my appearance is getting written up by a shapeshifter who chooses to be an upsidedown purple bouquet of bridal flowers. it is what it is i guess.
those poor unsuspecting asian children are me and my coworkers, unable to point out that she may be the long lost purple barbapapa.
(this is a french cartoon show from a billion years ago, it translates in english to 'cotton candy' those mutated rainbow blobs are cotton candy - how wretched, i know.)
how obscene really. i mean, aside from hating all of the mcdonalds characters, i don't really know which end of the spectrum i'm on about the hamburglar still, only because i like the name hamburglar;
but come ON, one wide can opening hick yokel tooth? throw him beside this eggplant coloured gumdrop chicken mcnugget mystery blob, YEAH THATS WHAT I WANT MY CHILDREN TO GROW UP WITH. how confusing.
even more confusing?
this ahem, "hand puppet" which may be a fancy word for condom inclusive with cockring and GRIMACE ARMS.
don't you hand puppet me. do you realise who you're toying with? i've heard it all when it comes to sex, besides, i can see the grimace faced reservoir tip.
the only thing more enraging than that filthy sack of a armed condom is the fact at how mad would you be after it broke and GRIMACE LITTERALLY IMPREGNATED YOU.
a comedy club is around the corner from my home and i always eyefuck it when passing by, contemplating on watching, or worse attempting. too afraid mostly of watching the unfunny, even worse being unfunny, or the worst fate of all, coming off as some chatty cathy jenny seinfeld with hand movements galore. best kept at bay in a blog i think. i could write a fucking enclyclopedia gillen on retarded instances of my childhood though. thanks mom, speaking of mom....speaking of unsuspecting azns;
knock knock who's there?