knuts for knitting.

through a series of incidents and image searches, i've found knitters to be completely insane, and knit products to be essentially creative excrement of these people.

REALLY.

..REALLY??!


srsly?


ugh. knitted pacman is unfortunately pretty cute. fuck. but imagine how painstakingly retarded it was to actually knit these lil nubs.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

so much stupid stupid stupid useless knitting wasted on a motorcycle. the motorcycle fanatic in question probably wears a matching hot pink riding ensemble.

COME ONNNNNN.


i feel as though this one completely defies what beer drinkers are looking for...


alright, not knitted. but pretty funny in the same vein. such a big fuck you in a very 'go big or go home' manner. i remember reading about this in a swedish magazine or something last year and forget all the details, regardless, although very ridiculous, pretty great. one of my more favoured world records, as opposed to the old man with the sack made for his long fingernails, i hope he dies.
i can even appreciate weird tedious repetitive things when the end product is useful, practical, or at least very aesthetically pleasing. a sweater, a waterbottle holder, mittens. why not painting? or drawing, to really tap into that right brained crazy
freespirited side of you when you wanna let loose after work. i feel knitting is generally a useless, irritating, stupid craft along the lines of when old people papermache fabric to those plastic swans resembling watering cans and then are faced with the equally troubling question 'wait, what am i putting in this again.' toilet paper or more yarn are usually stored in these elderly eyesores.


kill yourself.


you'll never, ever, ever have the urgent need for knitted reproductive organs. ever. you could mop up a spill with the real thing rather than this, always.


what the fuck get out of here.

what actually spawned this i guess was stumbling upon the knitted apple jacket last night and having too much time to think about it. And tonight rekindling those hates when right before dinner when meeting my roomate at the starbucks he works at, witnessing a small child of indistinguishable gender dressed to the nines in a goofy strawberry knit toque no older than 3. from him to my roomate emits in a raspy demon night terror type child scream while waiting for his hot chocolate; "cooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEE OOOONNNNNNNNNnnnnnn".

DIRTY COCKSUCKER WHY DOESNT THE FONT SHOW UP I HATE YOU BLOGSPOT BLOGGER MY ASSHOLE YOU THICK MINORITY.


edit: thanks blogspot ilu sew much lololol forgot muh html.
eat my dust dickeyes.

groan.

so,

ive got a blog again. i mostly have talked so much about wanting to get back into blogging, missing writing, not really having an accurate depiction of how mad i get at times at the most ridiculous things...that yes, i've gone and done it. i've gone off to the e-deep end and i've abandoned livejournal and committed to blogger. as an introductory post which will go down in history as my first blogspot entry, im gonna leech off of margaret cho and make fun of my asian heritage. god bless jenny and her dickies.

now. everytime i mention dickies, everyone either looks at me utterly confused as to what i'm even rambling about, or with a bizarre leer as to why my mother is wearing the same pants as avril lavigne. s8ter m0m never really caught on.

but no. these are dickies. this is a dickie.
hell, even a fleecy dickie to tickle your fancy or maybe even to crawl into on groundhog day and kill yourself when you dont feel like putting up with winter for another few weeks.

sorry mutt. is not a dickie.

but wait, i know i know, youre all thinking, but jen , what about all the various holidays i celebrate. really? you think they can cut the neck out of a turtleneck and put a loincloth on your chest but not be prepared for passover? YOU FOOL welcome to the easter dickie.
get ready to slip into your most queer dickie variety, thats what.

thankfully to ready yourself for hilarious testimonials, they prep you to fear for your life with mannequins, which have the eyes of albino hamsters. i mean, if that doesn't increase sales, call me silly !
"my order arrived here at the office in the morning mail. Quick service!! Thanks. I’ve got the navy one on already under my lighter blue work shirt, and it looks and feels great. After I model for my wife, I’m sure I’ll want more. Dave
if a husband, or for that matter, anyone i've ever rubbed genitals with in a past present or future life, had ever once even had the dimmest bulb of a thought of "yeah, jen will totally dig this dickie".... i can't even finish this thought due to excessive gagging and convulsing it's brought on, but it'd probably include an abortion, two paperclips, and spam.

i could ramble all night about this, i'll probably go out now and think of various other google image searches i couldve done and touch base on this tommorrow. and no, "dickies naked sluts" didnt turn up anything interesting unfortunately. 'naked dickies turtlenecks' did however provide a cute lil idea for st patricks day.