show no compassion like a straight faced orgasm...

2009-07-02T17:54:00.001-04:00

why would you want to permanently brand yourself as an idiot.

2009-06-27T15:55:00.001-04:00

i came across this knit atrocity in kensington market today wandering about;

nearly ruined a perfectly good unknit day i tell you.

maybe all i need is a new hairdo to spice things up?

2009-06-21T09:55:00.002-04:00

thanks Japanese artist Nagi Noda.

this makes me feel great about my bad hairdays and bedhead, why wouldnt i want to parade around with a parade float on my head through out my day.

2009-06-21T09:48:00.001-04:00

feeling like less of myself than usual, i haven't been writing which bums me out,

but i have been triflin' with you blogspot; with my tumblr, which is more constantly being updated with funny pictures at least, still without funny ramblings though.

this isn't goodbye.

just temporarily farewell.

2009-06-13T22:13:00.002-04:00

also completely related to the above picture;

i've been cheating on blogspot with tumblr.

i'm too cynical lately. i've lost interest in everything. i really wanna drink my weight, but once i have a drink in my hand, i don't care anymore.

dilemma.

better just hate on small children in outrageous outfits in the meantime.

2009-06-11T19:43:00.002-04:00

completely unrelated to the above picture;

i think my neighbour is the only guy in the world still to rock airwalks, a wallet chain, and cargo pants.

2009-05-21T22:58:00.001-04:00

going with hot pink, my lionel just turded some serious hot kitty turds that are wafting across the room now.

christ.

happy neutering kittens.

following suit with pink bikes.............

2009-05-21T22:55:00.000-04:00

2009-05-21T22:54:00.000-04:00

GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME

i got bike fever still, although i do have two bikes already, my bad.

2009-05-20T18:07:00.001-04:00

i just found my calling in life.

2009-05-18T20:50:00.001-04:00

i think mylifeisaverage is so much funnier than fuckmylife.

today is a whopper of a day.

2009-05-07T22:10:00.002-04:00

a whopping three photo posts. and legit ones, not just vin diesel jokes and avocado tattoos !

so i've already covered Jean-charles de Castelbajac's muppet fashion, agness deyn's hobo/boho/olsen tasteless taste, Azumi & David's tape accessories for the hairless fashionista....so low and behold, Tibi's Fall 2009 collection...

OUAIN WAH WAH WAWH WAWH WAWH WAWH WWAHH.

unintentional coincidence my ass.

gasp ! marc jacobs ! how dare you !!

jokes on me fully though because as appaled as i am upon this fall collection, further looking into things, turns out some Isaac Mizrahi did a collection in 2007 intentionally being Peanuts Gang related. Not too surprising seeing as it was a collab effort between betsey johnson, heatherette, and ever whoopi goldberg. WHOOPI FUCK. i'm sure that's less of a selling point than anything.

JOJO SAUNTERS AROUND IN THIS FASHIONABLE NOTHING-LIKE-SALLY DRESS !!!

sally meet jojo, jojo meet sally.

welp, now that were all acquainted here, we might as well star in a RV movie featuring robin williams to ruin our acting carreer.

OOPS.

i however do frown upon how lacking this snoopy inspired design is, and that it actually is kinda cute.

.......for a harlequin hooker clown in france.

boooo hissssssssss.

no but actually, i find it the cutest of the handful.

well, this is pretty lucy like. its also a pretty expensive frumpy dump sack im sure. YAY DISPOSABLE INCOME !!!!!!!!

YAY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU FELL INTO A BEANIE BABIES FACTORY !

shoes. omg those shoes cost five hundred dollars.

2009-05-07T21:59:00.001-04:00

this broad is a highrise bitch.

i honestly don't even know what to say. its like some industrial rivet head just confessed his love of swiss cheese to the world.

if only rollerskating could get hotter .

i'd really like to have a ballroom dancing mambo feel, but a more natural feel.

no, i said feel natural, not look natural...BRING ON THE GOLD LAME HALF SHOES.

i hate sandals so much. but i think the thing i hate more than sandals, is sandals pretending to be a small lapdog.

fuck i hate feet so much,
why can't we all just be sensible.

a sour taste left on my eyes.

2009-05-07T21:48:00.003-04:00

so i've been accumulating picture tabs in this spiderweb of a browser;
too-many-tabs to handle in my browser window to be specific.

i wish i could organize my brain in tabs. it'd mostly be blank windows im sure.

this really offends me as a tea drinker.

O YA CUD I GET TEH AZN BB SAMMICH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO HOLD TEH MAYO >_<

i really hate baby food.

only acceptable if playing the Rocky theme song to get through your day, otherwise, give yourself a wedgie, ask someone to jersey you, and get back to selling two for one discount shoes.

not only was this one an intricate waste of time, but it looks like a poorly sewn cloud, a badly drawn boy, or something that a couch would turd out.

guilty by association.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

as if bizarro trolls weren't obscenely fucking weird enough, someone went and crocheted a small QUEEN VICTORIA CAPE??! a tiny yellow visor, and a karate belt? ARE YOU SERIOUS??!? i was so perplexed as a child when family bought me these treasure trolls. i think i had about 5 that just sat there, and i had no idea what to do with them. besides the fact that i think belly buttons are the grossest thing ever and these things' pride and joy was their gemmed belly buttons....WHAT THE EWWWWWWWW. this is alongside NKOTB trading cards i got during my media-deprived childhood. yeah i went there new kids on the block, i didn't care in the 80's and i dont care now. yeah i said it, fuck KNOTB, i never cared. i will not do the step by step dance with you.

of course. this person probably puts their handgun in a papermache crane centerpiece.

close enough, thanks idiot.blogspot.com

on pictureisunrelated.com people actually got riled up about people saying this was knot (aha) knitting, because it is actually crocheting, and from another comment i also learned this degenerate's name is Agata and even has her own website; agataolek.com. no, i haven't gone to it, and i hope her tubes are tied as to not breed.

as for everyone arguing whether it's crochet or knitted; TOMATO, TAMATO, YOURE ALL FUCKING IDIOT STICKS.

speaking of idiots, here's the mother hen of idiots.

if you're comfortable with how stupid you look, and would just like to further extrapolate, this is perfect for you, and thankfully comes in one-size-fits-slanket.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo GOOGLY EYED GLUE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOOO CUTTTTTTTTE !!!!

after 3 bottles of Robitussin, you'd think roadkill was thriling.

this almost ruins my love of cute petite desserts.

what's scarier than a puma gouging out your eyes? walking into someone wearing this by choice.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TWATS. looks like Donatello wins this round you pile of nincompoops.

ok, this one hits really close to home, i'd really like to get in this moron's face and pull their hair.

whats worse than graffiti??

HAH. take THAT charmin bears, to hell with you and your toilet paper pieced bear bums !

babushka dogs, DO NOT LIKE.

FUCK YEA COTTONBALL MAN GO GET HER.

2009-05-06T18:22:00.002-04:00

ciara,

hermaphrodite or not,
i swear once i get back in peak fitness all over again, this will be my next thing to master in my heels.

either that or this time i'll dislocate both knees at once.

2009-05-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

i don't know why this kills me every time.

2009-05-02T19:50:00.001-04:00

OH MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD

2009-05-02T01:16:00.002-04:00

for someone that hates babies in all shape and size,

i mostly wanna throw this one in a wok and coat him in some general tso.

2009-05-02T00:35:00.000-04:00

this is everything i love.

2009-05-02T00:12:00.001-04:00

tandem bikes and disco??? END MY LIFE NOW.

2009-05-02T00:04:00.002-04:00

if you've got it, flaunt it.

if you've got a crustacean on your chest, look like an idiot.

2009-05-01T23:49:00.003-04:00

a lot of people are riled up about new tattoo barbie, even though her tattoos are arm flower stickers among other harmless crud.

i mean, sure, you could blame one single doll for the entire freakshow downfall of your children, or you could blame yourself. everyone needs a scapegoat. i was a mercilessly shy child until about highschool, gifted for most of my childhood, very obedient for most of the time, and here i am. i dont even know WHICH doll to scapegoat for my current life choices.

i guess if anything this doll is helping millions of parents across north america shift the blame from their poor parenting skills onto an inanimate foot tall plastic object worth 25$.

if anything we could be more riled up that barbie is still being made in indonesia, but then again, what do the ten cent salaries overseas have to do with our spoiled children's current life.

2009-05-01T23:48:00.001-04:00

WELCOME SUMMER, I'VE ALREADY SUNBURNT MY TITTIES SO THE REST IS FAIR GAME.

2009-04-28T23:48:00.001-04:00

2009-04-23T19:11:00.005-04:00

i mean, sure...this picture looks sweet.

how many people want to admit getting ready to go out took an hour, but the entire hour was spent lacing their sneaker pants.

you're wearing daytime feetie jammies, idiot.

actually lady gaga would probably wear these with a futuristic native american teepee top. figures.

just a girl;

2009-04-23T19:05:00.002-04:00

okay, i never do my nails...

and until a few yrs ago, i was the worst nailbiter in the world,

but this kinda rules.

2009-04-23T18:52:00.002-04:00

sure, you kinda look like a sexy doily when nude, but when you have clothes on, it looks like you have the cutest skin disease poking out everywhere.

2009-04-23T18:49:00.001-04:00

this is so jokes,

i might try to incorporate this into a layout.

2009-04-22T00:23:00.000-04:00

nicole scherzinger;

2009-04-22T00:06:00.002-04:00

no one knows your last name.

you may as well be known as "tits n' thangs" .

nicole scherzinger;

2009-04-21T18:21:00.004-04:00

sometimes you look like you've crawled out of hollywoods glitziest dumpster,

sometimes you look like you've barely escaped micheal jacksons vinyl fingertips

but inexplicably most of the time i still wanna do a bollywood jig all the way up your sausage wallet.

2009-04-21T17:57:00.002-04:00

and the grifter mania continues;

2009-04-21T10:40:00.005-04:00

omfg i really need to find teal tape and pedals for my bike.
more idealy teal metal feetie basket dealies.

HELP.

tmi - tl;dr

2009-04-21T03:43:00.001-04:00

i was thisclose to deleting my last post but decided against it because it was essentially my saving grace of the day. i have an awesome boyfriend, and amazing roomates(awesome pals i happen to also live with).

i really wasn't in party mode for my birthday this year, and regardless of what i wanted to do, funds to be in party mode weren't at my disposal anyways.

i guess when you live by 'friends as family' as a low cal replacement to real family that isn't there for you, it leaves you feeling like an idiot when your chosen 'family' you think so highly of, doesn't do the same back.

alongside the weather, i guess i'm just overly dissapointed with the outcome of my birthday. but then again , what can a girl do? it's my birthday and i can cry if i want to... that's what.

and more stupid jewelery i stumbled upon at 3:30am that i think is great even though i'd probably never wear it;

birthdays;

2009-04-20T22:38:00.001-04:00

you can't do it alone.

2009-04-19T10:45:00.002-04:00

it turns my stomach that jeffree star is still lurking around milking internet fame since myspace. nearly 16g twitter friends? that's nauseating.

2009-04-18T21:25:00.002-04:00

Korean Abdul-Jabbar.

2009-04-18T21:13:00.003-04:00

i can't believe the "Hipster Grifter” Kari Ferrell that everyone is up in arms about is so cute.

kudos to 'the filth' for being such a weaseling little hipster to even get hired by Vice on the spot though.

snakey hipster for the win.

not hard when you're scheming around deadbeats.

and you wonder why i stare blankly most of the time.

2009-04-18T20:48:00.003-04:00

2009-04-18T19:36:00.002-04:00

ALLIGRATOR !!! AVOTATOS !!!! POTACADOS !!!!!! ILU ILU BUMBLEBEE.

2009-04-17T18:58:00.001-04:00

i think i've actually turned so bitter i can't enjoy anything anymore.

2009-04-16T19:33:00.002-04:00

thankfully segway and GM vehicles have teamed together to make my life a living hell.

2009-04-14T18:11:00.000-04:00

sometimes i really hate asians.

this is so not kawaii.

story of my life;

2009-04-14T17:39:00.001-04:00

2009-04-13T00:48:00.001-04:00

one of my more productive days in a while.

paisley-ing this entire Munny will probably be the end of me.

2009-04-12T22:40:00.003-04:00

sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.
sick of it all.

i think i've finally had it.

2009-04-12T18:55:00.004-04:00

this long weekend i accidentally watched 'aliens vs monsters' and to my dismay,

insectosaurus is quite possibly the only cute insect i've ever seen. i mean, as much as a fuzzy retarded insect can be called cute that is.

i bought shampoo today and upon arriving at home and taking a whiff, it smells like maraschino cherries. i hate maraschino cherries.

when i was younger, my mom would buy a blackforest cake for numerous birthdays but it wasn't till i was older, when she brought home a dirty blackforest filthy jam cake, i took my dad's truck out bought myself a 40$ gourmet cake and refused to give her a slice. such is family i guess.
HAPPY EASTER.

2009-04-12T18:23:00.002-04:00

I FUCKING CRACKED A COCONUT OPEN.

TAKE THAT TECHNOLOGY, I CAN STILL SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU.

2009-04-09T20:15:00.003-04:00

this makes me happy the kid on the right is related to me through the motherland.

2009-04-09T20:13:00.001-04:00

MY PEARLY WHITES NEED THESE.

2009-04-09T20:11:00.002-04:00

I HATE FLIP FLOPS.

I HATE MY BEVERAGES HAVING FLIP FLOPS.

meat pants > knit, dogs, babies.

2009-04-08T20:39:00.002-04:00

this dog may as well just go end his life.

this baby is what i imagine aids to look like under a microscope.

2009-04-08T20:34:00.003-04:00

if you're gonna want a self respecting girl a reason to go down there,

give me a self respecting reason to eat all that meat.

2009-04-08T20:33:00.000-04:00

one day maybe i'll own three potato fields.

2009-04-08T20:27:00.000-04:00

omg loxii, this is also the place that does the bike spoke wall graphics i posted a few less-offensive entries back.

sometimes you feel like a nut...

2009-04-08T20:26:00.002-04:00

...and sometimes you're a racist artist.

i think this is pretty funny though; i would.

if you got it, knock out your teeth and talk british...

2009-04-08T01:37:00.003-04:00

just because i can't get enough of amy winehouse all of a sudden;

fatty-fatty-bo-batty.

she is the crackhead-repunzel of this era.

cher !

twisted sister !!

for any time i've ever given someone stink eye, i formally apologize. im currently relearning proper technique and will get back to you at my earliest convenience.

after barely playing 'just the tip' in such a large collection of pictures, i'm mostly left wondering when the title 'damaged goods' can be used on a person.

it makes me really happy though to know that when not a goofy disproportionate muppet, amy winehouse moonlights as howard stern when she doesn't have a british guard's hat strapped to her head and two thirds of Ru Pauls makeup collection on her face.

this also makes me feel really happy about any insecurities i've ever had in my life ever.

amy winehouse pictures are a proven therapy method in lieu of prozac.

gizmodo - "In the Future, No One Will Have Eyebrows"

2009-04-07T23:55:00.002-04:00

not only does the girl look like the victim off too much plastic surgery and a vicious nosejob,

but the guy is wearing a piece of tape covering the most expressive half of his face and you can still tell his rapist eyes are perving hard.

but you wanted watches, ties, and bracelets instead?

i never knew people who never have, will, or can experience an orgasm could be so happy.

back to the drawing board for you Azumi & David, you can catch the bus back with Jean-charles de Castelbajac.

whatever.
i'll probably just use them as nipple pasties anyways.

don't blame me when i put your sunglasses over the holes you breathe from.

sometimes a girls just gotta spoil herself...

2009-04-07T23:01:00.002-04:00

STOP THE PRESSES.

2009-04-07T22:59:00.000-04:00

2009-04-07T22:57:00.001-04:00

omfg so cute.

2009-04-07T00:02:00.002-04:00

i frequently pine over having long hair once again these days.

this is fucking ridiculous though.

sigh, my birthday's coming up which brings a certain dread and a certain excitement. it's the more i think about the excitement in which the dread sneaks in right after.

25. what a dumpy number. i should be having some sort of quarter century eye-opening revelation or some frantic crisis but here i am rekindling my flame with the internet instead in my underwear on my bedroom floor.

i don't have any vices i need to abandon, i don't have any ties i need to break.
i just googled 25th birthdays, and at least i don't look like this i guess;

i think i might devote this blog entirely to amy winehouse. i mean. WOW. i haven't been keeping up, but WOWWWWWWW

if you've got it, flaunt it.

last night i was balls deep in parkdale;

2009-04-06T23:59:00.001-04:00

parkdale is the nutsack of toronto,
and i'll be damned if this phallic stained glass window isn't representing the longest dick in the world popping a cherry.

COME ON.

speaking of which;

oh rite, NSFW. oops.

idioknit.

2009-04-06T23:30:00.002-04:00

i don't get it... april fools was 5 days ago.

end my life.

im power nerding right now; TL;DR

2009-04-06T23:20:00.001-04:00

i don't know if it's spring in the air, all the cleaning/throwing out/yardwork i've been doing, myself just wanting to spoil myself for my birthday or fuck knows what. screw it, i'm doing a julia-style entry of fucking eyecandy right now. tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

someone please go to magic pony with me this weekend. preferably on a bike, preferably eating street meat. preferably.

nevermind, this s 64gigs !

minus the developmentally disabled limp-wristed claw hand.

wut wut corky.

i definitely posted this before.

little houses has the cutest side buttoned girl shit ever.

omfg coin purse

actually no, i just want a qualty PAC bag;

actually, nix all of that, and disregard it ever happening - i just wanna buy a stack of books from magic pony and a pile of books from indigo and hide out reading in my closet for a week straight.

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-04-06T20:09:00.001-04:00

this entry has been brought to you by ritalin.

2009-04-06T19:34:00.002-04:00

well,

it's that time of the month where i hate sad people who have mastered the dual skill of having too much time on their hands and too many pets.

as though he wasn't already droopy enough.

actually, im jumping ship on pet costumes , and knitting this time, because this post has been abruptly hijacked by muppet inspired fashions...

sorry Jean-charles de Castelbajac - sorry the culture shock between france and americas has set you into a fashion frenzy, but maybe oscar the grouch will point you in the right direction. maybe if these clothes were about 9 sizes smaller than an anorexic model, they would fit a chubby toddler, then be subject to a whole new realm of my hate.

i however, DO need this;

now this entry has turned into a list of STUPID THINGS A STUPID GIRL NEEDS ^_________________^

(this outta a cake for my birthday - hint hint, the 20th.)

2009-04-06T18:30:00.004-04:00

GIMME ALL DESE ICEYS.

thanks sara...

2009-04-02T22:40:00.006-04:00

VICTORY IS MINE.

BURN IN HELL FOUL SHOE.

A RUBBER HEEL WHICH EVOLVED FROM A FOAMY AIR-ATED GARDENING SHOE??? you've got to be kidding me. why don't we just use wood and live in china 770-476BC. FOOLS.

also, i just found these;

as convenient as these may be, im sure the cost of a dual magic shoe far outweighs paying for two separate entities of shoes, and anything which clicks in and out in a Heelys type manner...

is not convenient enough for me.

2009-04-02T22:05:00.003-04:00

2009-04-02T22:00:00.002-04:00

2009-04-02T21:51:00.003-04:00

i apologize in advance,

i've got the biggest bike brains in the world since my leg is back in full functional order. DON'T WORRY.

WHILE I CHEW ON MY BUBBLEGUM BIKE I'LL FIND IDIO-KNIT THINGS.

2009-04-02T21:45:00.002-04:00

SOMEONE HAS THE EXACT REVERSE COTTONCANDY BIKE THAT I WANT.

CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

2009-04-02T21:20:00.001-04:00

2009-04-02T09:26:00.002-04:00

and to start my day off on a positive note…..

this actually made my morning.

best and worst boyfriend.

2009-04-01T22:18:00.002-04:00

this guy realistically probably has the facial hair of a freshly pubescent 13 yr old girl's armpits.

they treat me really nicely, they buy me all these iceys.

2009-04-01T21:59:00.005-04:00

speaking of assholes riding bikes and not basting themselves in 'icey', real icey,
heres a fucking 24k pure gold bike totaled at $102,418.60 USD.

at the economy's current state, yeah, thats equal to 'more money than god CAD'

the tires may as well be made of pure ivory, and the chain be linked of carved out panda teeth lubed up with whale blubber. WHY NOT, LETS GO A LITTLE FUCKING NUTS WHY DONT WE.

there is actually 600 Swarovski crystals on each one playing hide and go seek god knows where, the seat is probably a small satchel of gems you can ride across borders with. VIVA MEXICO !

2009-04-01T21:24:00.003-04:00

GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME MORE GIMME GIMME MORE

DEMI DEMI MOORE DEMI MOORE DEMI DEMI MOORE.

2009-04-01T12:47:00.003-04:00

after giving it a thought, i guess its not that bad that bikes are as trendy as blowjobs in public places right now;

at least hipters arent clogging the roads thinking neon Hummers are sweet as fuck.

2009-03-30T23:26:00.000-04:00

and the sham continues....

2009-03-28T00:53:00.003-04:00

in ottawa about two years ago, there was this pair of weird Puma bizarro half slipon-ed jogging shoes in white which is also a colour which i'd never want, and i didn't get them at first glance cause they were sooooooo random, but then i ended up having a honeymoon stage for about a month straight dreaming of how much i wanted them so i went back and bought them only to never wear them once, ever, to this day.

the other day on the subway there was a halfpint version of me wearing them that looked like my sour mother and i kinda want to vomit in these unworn shoes and then burn them.

i ate walnuts at noon and spent about ten hours vommiting. i'm feeling exceptionally on top of the world today.

2009-03-27T22:38:00.002-04:00

idiot. you look like my menstruations.

2009-03-27T22:07:00.001-04:00

rick ross, eat your heart out.

2009-03-27T21:44:00.002-04:00

apparently the magic of shamwow is a trade off for all the years of your youth.

sometimes life is a rave and im wearing a candy necklace.

2009-03-27T21:30:00.003-04:00

literally all day ah ah and night.

thanks tim.

2009-03-25T17:31:00.003-04:00

i want to give the most genuine of all high fives to the kid who did this. that or sing Pony to him. ginuwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

no points for cuteness.

2009-03-25T02:20:00.002-04:00

it's that time again, where i scour the most angering things at the latest time possible to compile a blog to keep me raged until next time.

welp, there goes my passionately heated love of chicken pot pies.

HAH, WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER YOU FOOLS.

plush crocheted rock candy?

i don't understand the thrill of knitting food-lookalikes.

okay, so i digress, neither felt nor knit,

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THIS LITTLE EGG TEEPEE COZY

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo

an aqua yarmulke, how efficient. is yarn kosher? from a lamb? scoff, you gonna eat a pig in that hat?

and you even bother wondering why i can't sleep at night?

why keep your drink cool and refreshing , when you can keep it fuzzy and stupid.

sure, let your children play with furry finger condoms, don't come crying to me when you can't afford the therapy bills and ponder on your own where you went wrong.

when laundry disappears in your dryer, it accumulates till it can pull off a full frontal assault on your furniture.

made to scale with proportions of inventor.

this is also not cute. adding googly eyes is not a quirky craft idea. its stupid. your tape sees you, AWESOME. which part of it's body are you tearing off and sticking to something else? your Brita has eyes? and you're pouring out a glass full of cummy nyum nom goodness? yeah, get back to me when the first thing you see in the morning when flipping on the light switch is it looking back at you. a turned on light switch, how delectably FUCKING WEIRD.

FUCKED. UP.

biggest waste of time ever. imagine the trial and error that went into this mess. don't you have a war to fight in needlemaster5000.

i may be plotting to shove this in which ever entrance to hell it snuck out of, or the smallest driest orifice of whomever had made it.

a fuzzy computer cover??

looks like you're diddling a fembot on the set of Austin Powers.

only burger in history of burgers that i don't like.

only cupcake in history i will not try to devour exclusively in one bite.

only ice cream cone in history i will devote solely to cramming up someones nasal cavity.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

this is kinda like seeing a perfectly fine dog , dressed up in an outfit someone who can barely dress themselves chose.

i have a dream where everything is hazy, and i'm smothered on my deathbed by an arch nemesis by this.

why wait this long to scare someone away?

just when i thought i had defined scary, here comes a knitted viking child.
this is officially my suicide note.

2009-03-25T01:27:00.003-04:00

i can't wrap my head around what a sexual predator one of my kittens suddenly is.

they're both male and he's mounting him wrong, even I know that.

2009-03-25T00:56:00.001-04:00

KEEP MY COOKIES SAFE IN A HUT.

2009-03-24T21:22:00.003-04:00

in life, there are needs and wants,

and veneered sluts who own a windmachine.

confession;

2009-03-21T20:50:00.002-04:00

granted i don't know anything about the sri lankan tamil population protests recently in toronto, but granted;

they gots the coolest muthafuck'n flag i ever did see.

2009-03-21T20:35:00.000-04:00

next year, i'm gonna be a bumblebee in style, china style.

2009-03-19T19:26:00.001-04:00

the cuter spectrum of my internet time can be found here.

2009-03-19T19:21:00.001-04:00

30 Hula Hoops At Once

i want to murder this child with my laughter.

2009-03-18T20:32:00.002-04:00

i am not myself.

it's three months into the new year and only now i've started to reflect on the past year.

on the walk home i saw a three legged chihuahua in a lime green drug rug and realised sometimes, life isn't so bad.

2009-03-15T22:27:00.003-04:00

so apparently im a big ole racist says some twat on livejournal.

also bringing me out of my current livejournal retirement is barmi who commented on my knit puppy hat post from the other day.
thanks for coming out barmi.

as a result, in true jen gillen form...

2009-03-13T02:52:00.003-04:00

there's a very angry knit based post approaching in the distance,

don't hold your breath.

buzzkill.

2009-03-13T02:03:00.003-04:00

knit cake?

go fuck yourself.

2009-03-13T00:56:00.002-04:00

i drool over bakerella regularly,
she makes the cutest deserts handsdown.

a pancake cake? i've lurked online for a good picture of this for years.

bitch wins my heart.

2009-03-13T00:14:00.002-04:00

am i the only one not visually cumming over Slumdog Millionaire?

maybe if i paid more attention and didn't wake up only to mock the ending bollywood dance scene.

song of the year my asshole.

p.s. i don't know why my blog is so saturated with movie rants, i don't even watch/like movies that much overall.